Hey, Dude! It's Valentine's Day!

Trash or treasure? This is the eternal question of the collector. For me, it is often the case that the trashiest little things that I bought incidentally decades ago turn out to be my favorite things.

Case in point: Frankford's L'il Valentines Candy Cards. I forgot that I even had this, then I came across it recently and fell in love. This "l'il" Valentine perfectly captures every late 80s/early 90s youthful trend with its skateboardin', sunglasses wearin', rad talkin' dinosaur!

Like the dinosaurs, the "chocolatey crispy" candy cards inside are long gone, and I wish I could bring them back so that I could revel in their delight with you, but some things are still beyond the abilities of modern science. All I can tell you is that I'm pretty sure they featured the dinosaur saying some awesome trendy sweet nothings along the lines of "You're totally tubular!" "You're so choice." and "My bodacious babe." Whatever they said, I'm sure they made for a most excellent Valentine's Day.

Now, let's travel back in time to the 70s to enjoy this seemingly insignificant Palmer Solid Milk Chocolate Valentine. Somewhere within this tiny art lives a big story... but what could it be? Did I miss the classic folk tale of the Pony, the Donkey, and Mule? I don't think so, but clearly something is happening here. Here's how I believe the story unfolds:

There once was a shy little Mule who loved the pretty blonde Pony. Shy little Mule was smart and had a steady job, enough to afford a stylish straw hat and a necktie, but he could never believe that he had enough to offer the ravishing Miss Pony, who could have her pick of suitors. Shy little Mule's best friend was handsome, stylish Donkey. Donkey confessed his love for Miss Pony to Mule, not realizing that she was also Mule's true love. Donkey wished that he could win the heart of Miss Pony, but he knew that he was just an inarticulate ass. In the kind of sacrifice that only lifelong friends could give to each other, Mule wrote poetry for Donkey to recite to Miss Pony, and he picked beautiful flowers for Donkey to give to her too. Miss Pony fell madly in love with Donkey, with his combination of romantic gestures and obvious physical attributes, leaving poor Mule with forever a broken heart, but with the good feeling that he had made his best friend's dreams come true.

Don't like it? Well, then, write your own story!

As I conclude my Valentine's Day storytelling, I leave you with this classic TOPP's Valentine, which sums up the nature of love for many couples. Enjoy the day!